94 YEARS IN THE MAKING

Today is my grandmother’s 94^th birthday.

Marian Schulz is a marvel.  She is my inspiration.  She still lives on her own, in her own house.  She still drives her little SUV and talks state troopers out of tickets.  She had her knee replaced so she could continue to dance.  Her calendar is full of parties and appointments.  Her clothes are contemporary and her jewelry statement pieces.  She is quick with a laugh and equally quick at making the lowly quake with fear.  She is a rock, the core of our family.

Marian Arp Schulz, age 18

This Christmas, I missed celebrating the holiday with my grandmother and extended family for the first time in years.  We always travelled from St. Louis, despite weather and timing, but now the distance is too much.

When I was growing up, Christmas Eve on the farm with Grandpa and Grandma was something I looked forward to all year.  But as the family grew and changed, so did Christmas.  The farm is gone.  So is Grandpa.  But Grandma still invites her brood to gather for the holidays…all 60 of us!  She still brings her Southern Comfort punch, even if she can’t drink it.  (That was a lesson learned the hard way, when a couple glasses of punch made her defibrillator “zap” her one Christmas.  I imagine her cardiologist told her she shouldn’t drink alcohol, but that was one instruction she conveniently forgot.)

Even though I didn’t make it to the party, I received my Christmas gift from Gram.  It was a book.  Of her stories.

The book was the brainchild of my mom and Aunt Julie.  They sat Grandma down, asked her to tell them her stories, while they added ones of their own.  Grandma talks of growing up on the farm and becoming a farmer’s wife, of raising her children and losing a son.  She talks of hard work and heartbreak, love and laughter.  They are the stories of a life.  I have received few gifts as precious.

Gram, Julie, Mom

In this book, she also found a way to impart words that might have gone unsaid, words that might have waited for a better time and never found one.  These are hers:  “You can love your children with all your heart, rejoice for them, grieve for them, and try to help, but in the end, with luck, you are alone with the man you’d chosen to live with.  In the end, there is something to be said for the undemanding life that is compensation for growing old.  You had your regrets and disappointments, even a kind of haunting depression knowing that any day it could all end.  But mostly you give thanks for what you had in the past and what you hoped for in the future – for health and serenity, for yourself and the ones you love.  Life was more kind than cruel.”

Life has always been more kind with you in it, Gram.  Happy Birthday.